Bcian320

just for anyone that has the same problem, ill answer my own question
the "batt" wire and the ac on wire were switched so it was resetting the appradio every time the car was turned off. duh on my part but I had the wrong color coded diagram for my car, so partially not my fault although i should have checked.
and i had a dock extension and when i took it off, it worked fine for a couple connections. then it went back to having the blank screen when launching appradio on the phone. i rechecked the wiring, hooked up the axxess aswc (awesome product btw) and played around with the switch by getting rid of the relay, still with no luck, so i put everything back together, like i said, got rid of the relay bypass crap, hooked up a switch and after starting the car up after a while, everything works fine, apps work well, pandora, maps, xdrive etc. Dont know what it exactly was, but im glad it works...
hope this vague explanation of my own problem helps someone later down...